Smaller Than Myself

Moved!

2007-04-22T09:36:00.000+08:00

Moved to here!

A Struggling Me

2007-04-17T21:45:00.000+08:00

I'm struggling to keep sane in the boredom of everyday,

trying to find things I can look forward to.

It's two whole years, ARGH!

I can be optimistic but I'm gonna show off my agony side here.

I wanna be back in school!

The joy, laughter and fun with so many different people.

I wanna have lots of outings again!

I wanna keep learning new stuff.

I swear I'm becoming more stupid as the months passed.

Actually I just miss my JC la. Sob.

NS has it bads and goods. For one, there is relatively less worries here. You get paid, you learn to deal with many many different types of people and you can have a sense of pride when people look at you and think that you are a protector of the nation.

Then again, I came to conclusion that I ain't meant to be a soldier. No matter what you give me, I wouldn't want to sign on. Tell me 2 years and yes, I will take it positively. But bond for 5, 10 years? Never.

I guess I'm just too addicted to luxury and all.

I'm spoilt.

My Goal For These 2 Years

2007-04-14T19:07:00.000+08:00

Do you know what's my motivator for these 2 years of NS?

I wanna ORD and when my friends meet me once again, they did say, "Wow, how Kok Mun has changed!". For the better, of course!

Right now, I'm focusing on trying to stay in Gloucester Camp despite Jurong Camp calling me back soon.

A Long Overdue OG21 Clique Outing!

2007-04-07T00:10:00.000+08:00

Despite the dismal turnout, we still managed to had fun! Thanks to Wei Liang, Yi Fan, Hui Ying and Sharon for turning up!

We actually decided to have cosy steamboat at Marina South, but since we had so little people and Sharon already eaten, we decided to go have a simple dinner at Holland V instead. I tell you, Holland V is fast becoming my favourite hangout place.

At evening, we went to Crystal Jade Kitchen for dinner! My first time there and I ordered wanton mee, my quotation favourite!

Afterwhich we went to TCC for some very very long chit chat. I drank some alcoholic drink I can't pronounce. I must admit, my recent outings are costing me a bomb!

And Sharon can't figure out to use the toilet lock!

Wei Liang and Yi Fan are worried about NS! Muhaha.

Hui Ying actually want to go Seoul Garden also!

Maybe another outing soon?

Anyway this blog is undergoing a major change. Not only is there going to be a spruced up blogskin, there's gonna be tons of content. I will focus on what I can share best, how I live my life, my indulges and many many things that focuses on sharing with you guys the wonderful little things I have discovered here and there along the way.

But, it's gonna take a lot of hard work and a looong time.

Download OG21 Clique Hangout at TCC Pics

An Ugly Incident

2007-04-04T19:57:00.000+08:00

I hate people who play ranks. There are some people, just because they have a higher post or rank, would love to mess around with new people or even people of lower ranks.

That happens everywhere in the army and I hate it when I just got on the receiving end today, not to say that I love to tekan other people.

Well, making me angry ain't a very good thing, because firstly, I don't often do stuff that would irritate someone. So anyone who disturb me either is an asshole to begin with or just jealous with whatever I have.

Secondly, being angry motivates me to do very creative stuff to ensure I don't get the same treatment in the future.

And that is why, I thought for a little while today, that I should develop some people to people skills to defend against such disturbing attacks.

Firstly, being witty is crucial. Splitting out a split second reply that is filled with sarcasm yet is not liable for any offences is perhaps our first line of defense.

Secondly, you must have friends, acquaintences everywhere and from all walks of life. That doesn't mean you start to bootlick people. I would earn their friendship and respect the honourable way.

Thirdly, I must get more muscular and fitter. I am still so thin that my uniform looks like it's hanging on a stick whenever I wear it. Having large biceps and being able to run at 500 miles per minute will give pause to any street bully.

Fourthly, one must gain status or rank.

Fifthly, one must have financial power. You can then hire millions of goons to take down that bastard or just buy a nuclear bomb to drop on him.

Sixth, one must have great wisdom and knowledge. No one will dare insult a thousand year old scholar.

Notice the fourth and fifth point border dangerously to what villains want in movies and comics. Frankly, much precautions must be taken when pursuing such MEANS OF POWER.

Okay, I feel like I'm reading too much fiction books.

I guess I will just stick to avoiding the bullies I met today from now on.

A Ranting Update

2007-04-03T21:00:00.000+08:00

I'm spending money recklessly, justifying my buys with this and that excuse.

Now I need:

1. A flash-based MP3 player to put in all the legal songs and podcasts and bring to camp, just in case the military police decide to drop in and do a little check. Besides, I'm always wasting valuable time travelling back and forth (2 hours everyday). Plus, I can also use it when I go for my frequent jogs!

2. Speakers for my iPod mini. I want to hear my songs on my MP3 as I go about doing my work in the room.

3. Materials for a handmade white board. I'm gonna make my own white board!

4. A larger shoe bag so I can squeeze in my boots when I go for a run in camp in the mornings.

5. A toiletries bag! To be used when swimming, gyming or going to camp!

6. A black sports watch! I need one for my runs, and also to fit my SMART 4.

7. A street directory so I can find all the locations of good food stalls with my current Makansutra book.

8. An umbrella. Obvious reasons.

9. Sit-up mat.

10. A silent alarm clock. I hate clocks that go tick tick tick. Super noisy in the night.

Actually there's more things I want to buy, but seeing that humans have unlimited wants and limited resources (money), I don't think I should bother listing down everything.

Anyway, as soon as my hair's back, I'm gonna be vain and all again, so shopping's definitely gonna take up a lot of my time!

Right now, I'm trying my best to make good use of my time!

Reading tons.

Trying out new things.

Talking to people.

Working out.

There's so much more to do!

19th Birthday And So Much More!

2007-04-01T21:04:00.000+08:00

It's a long overdue entry and I'm gonna make it a long one, cause I simply have so many things to write about.

And sorry about the lack of updates! Will try to update more often!

25 March was my birthday and Wei Liang, Jessica, Wei Yuan, Kai Quan and Yi Fan came to "surprise" me at home. Well it was not actually much of a surprise when they called me beforehand to tell me to stay at home from a certain time.

Nevertheless, I had great fun! Although it pales in comparison to last year, it still was touching to see friends making the effort to celebrate a day that is unique for me.

Here are some pictures!

Wei Liang is very high.

Making my 19th wish!

Irritating!

Even NSMan can find cake hard to cut.

The birthday crew!

Then at night, my ex-class S13 celebrated a double birthday party for Kenny and me!

At Village, the Marche copycat.

They tried to cheat me, told me that mango cake was a cheesecake, made me sweat a lot.

Birthday guys.

Blow candles!

I quite missed my dear OG21. Honestly, we are quite far apart now. It's been months since we had a fun outing like we had so oftenly in the past. Is my faith in long term friendships misplaced?

Well, I'm gonna try holding on, because I believe friendships despite not being in the same school or workplace is possible. If not, what will happen to us when we go to the workplace next time? Will our social lives crumble because everyone would start to forget their old friends?

The 2/4 clique of Sin Kuan, Wei Yuan, Wei Liang, Chee Wee, Xiu Ming, Pristine and Sin Yee is an inspiring example of how friends can stay together despite distances. We always looked forward to our next outings and I really really feel very comfortable hanging out with them. Well should I say that whenever we gather, we are out to have fun and we are not stressed up about the outing being not-so-fun.

I have been posted to Gloucester Camp as Regimental Police, which is an ultra slack job. The only complain I have is I must wake up super early and travel all the way to Ayer Rajah to fall in at 7.45am every morning. But still, I love this job because of the sheer amount of free time, the minimum responsibilities and the people we have there.

I had a nightmare just yesterday of being posted away. I know the possibility of being called back to Jurong Camp (which I need to stay in)is super high. But I really hoped I can be there till I ORD.

Don't think I would be wasting my time there. Well, there will be lots to do. I will study up on my university courses, learn about finance and investments, read tons, do fitness in camp and so much more. Plus going home everyday allow me to socialise with my current friends (I recently found out I can't do without female friends, it seems).

But weekends have gotten miserable without the sheer amount of friends in school in the past. It's easy to plan outings last year because we meet each other so often and could just agree on something instantly.

But now... I really miss those times. I wanna go out so much with so many people.

I miss so much so much in my old life. But in life, we have to always move ahead. I'm definitely an improvement from my old self. So it's not all bad.

And yep, bored me called Wei Liang and Wei Yuan to KBox today and I nearly fell asleep towards the end.

I realise to have fun at KBox, you must have:

- A "high"
- Knowledge of tons of Chinese songs and lyrics
- Good singing techniques

But still, it's better than staying at home!

We had, as usual, 4 rounds of DOTA after that, after which not very sporty me went home and did some jogging. I complained I had work tomorrow and I didn't want to be drained.

Actually, I'm just affected by my sudden drop in social life. I'm feeling soooo lonely.

Geez, I sound so pathetic.

I Wish...

2007-03-25T01:17:00.000+08:00

For my birthday I wish:

1. I would have a 8 to 5 clerical vocation at Jurong Camp for whole 2 years.

2. I would have my hairstyle back!

3. My friends to surround me again!

4. To have the ability to make lots of friends everywhere.

5. To fall in love.

I can't believe it actually. I'm already 19 years old. It's quite an achievement coming so far.

I have fallen in and out of love. I have fell down tons of times. I have learnt lots of things that are invaluable in life. I have achieved quite some stuff too.

I promise to the world I would strive even harder to be a better person at 19 and beyond.

Life would be become more interesting!

Still Remember Friendster?

2007-03-23T21:15:00.000+08:00

Still remember Friendster? That hot thing that was on everyone's mind back then, and the race was on to see who could have the highest count of friends.

Well, sad to say, like most trends in Singapore, Friendster is a dying topic of discussion here. What we generally use it for:

1. Get to know that babe/hunk you always see in school but never looks in your direction.

2. Find out information about a particular person. Could be a newly made friend, a talked about person or simply someone interesting.

3. Waste your time being a voyuer and spying on other people's lives. This include clicking millions of times to see that exclusive chio bu.

4. Declare to the world you are attached by posting cutesy photos of you and her/him.

5. Declare to the world you got new cool friends by posting cool photos of you and them.

6. Declare to the world you are gay.

7. Lie to the rest of us about how interesting your life is.

Well, hardly anyone makes new friends from Friendster anymore because simply only chio bu get friend requests and in return, chio bu restrict messaging to friends only.

Since I have no amazing talents or looks, I stand little chance of knowing that cute girl that once studied in the same school as me.

So... well... I will just forget Friendster as a friend-making tool and use it as a gossiping supplement.

One Way to Live Your Life

2007-03-23T02:09:00.000+08:00

It is a sad thing that most of the time, we tend to forget we are gifted with life rather than cursed with it. How many people in your life do you know worry more often than enjoy? How many office workers have thought that current lives are boring and yearn for a change?

Life itself is immensely complex, rich and mysterious. Look at the sheer amount of possibilities available in any aspect of life. For example, there are unlimited types of food to enjoy, of which I do love hunting down good food as a hobby.

Look at music. Its mysterious power captivates, teaches, tells a stories and can do so much more, and yet, every single day, someone comes out with a different music even after thousands of years of such an art.

Career-wise, we have no lack of jobs. You can pursue your wildest dreams or stay on the safe path. Life is so varied that almost all the time, we get lost in it.

And thus sometimes we must find the right ways to enjoy life. Have you noticed you aren't happy or deep down in your heart, you find there's gonna be much more to what you are experiencing right now? I call it a zest for life. You should learn to love life, or else you might just miss out on the greatest miracle in our cold, dark universe.

I cannot claim I have mastered the ways of life. I would be a saint now if I did. But at least I'm gonna share more of my thoughts from now on. I will be honest with you. I will share what I think deep down, and you may find me hard to understand at times. Well, keep in mind it's a hard affair to look at something and see the same thing as someone else.

One very important thing we should all learn to have is a open, receptive mind to learning. There is opportunity for learning at every corner. Some may call this a positive attitude.

Before I went into the army, I set myself to think that I would not waste these 2 years. These 2 years would be a period of immense growth for me, by making use of what opportunities the army presented me and also trying my best to pursue my self studies during my free time.

I was keeping an extremely open mind when I went in. And well, I'm glad to say I benefited from it. Let me tell you just what I think in small little situations:

At home, before I become a mighty soldier, I often would skip meals, don't bother about eating and don't even finish my meals. But going into the army presented itself with an opportunity to change. I would learn to appreciate food (because you are frequently hungry), learn to finish my meals, learn to enjoy food (even the simplest ones) and learn to increase my stomach capacity.

Well, it's all good and now I eat more, much more than last time. I feel I have more energy and more strength than ever. But I have yet to grow fat...

Every experience can be an opportunity to learn something.

I watch a movie, I witness the lifestyles of different characters and may find a hobby I can try out. Or I can be inspired by the integrity of the hero and seek to evaluate my current life based on it.

I listen to music, I open my mind to it, let my emotions flow and experience something new.

I read a non-fiction book of any field. I learn things about the world around me, be it politics, philosophy, cooking, animals, arts, Christianity or medicine.

I read a novel, and become inspired by the story behind it. Stories are powerful ways of communicating and you may find that you learn more than you expect to when you read even a simple novel. One good book can be "Five People You Meet In Heaven" by Mitch Albom.

I play a hockey match. I learn my weaknesses, learn to oversome fatigue, fight against giving up and learn the power of competition and rivalry. Most of all, I also gained new hockey skills and get better with every match.

As can be seen, life can a continual adventure of learning new things if you look at it that way. With a positive attitude, you may find that you actually learn more everyday and enjoy life better.

So... Start now!

2007-03-22T01:32:00.000+08:00

Do YOU think I need braces? Help me out by answering in my tagbox.

You Better Remind Myself

2007-03-21T00:25:00.000+08:00

This is a post to remind me: PUT UP A GOOD BLOGSKIN SOON!

First Section Outing!

2007-03-17T08:56:00.000+08:00

I thought it was a platoon outing, but it turned out only our section turned up. Nevertheless I had GREAT fun eating EXTREMELY spicy seafood, laughing at Eng Hock, squeezing 6 people in Jasmen's car and facing up against pool pros who say they don't know how to play one (next time I also use this trick liao).

Okay, so I really sweated like a running tap, but it doesn't mean I can't take spicy stuff. Actually I feel a little feverish now. :( Am I sick?

In buddy Jasmen's car. It make me green with envy that you have your own car to drive around. It really allowed me to understand why having a car is a sign of status. It's because people look up to you because they need a ride in it and it shows a definite sign of maturity.

That's one of Jasmen's 2 cars. And he always claimed he's poor.

General Eng Hock taking a shot at pool.

Today is the second time I dreamt that I could finally style my hair. To say that I miss my hair is an understatement. It's a big frustration when you look in the mirror and you see someone yourself being really ugly.

OG21 outing later! Hope I'm well enough to go!

The Gentler Species of the World

2007-03-15T09:13:00.000+08:00

Girls and women. We hate them, we love them.

It is in our direct benefit that they fortunately have an obsession for beauty. Aside from stimulating our heart rates, they can spice any photograph that may seem boring to most.

Ever since I got through BMT, I have become generally more appreciative of the beautiful women out there. Aside from the habit of staring at the chio bu on the MRT as I book out, I also have a tendency to flirt more nowadays.

Well, thank God for the presence of the female species. How much time have we killed by surfing Friendster profiles of seemingly heavenly ladies? How much boring commuting trips have been made interesting by the chio bu sitting next to you? How many outings have been successful because of the presence of a superbabe (they attract participants)?

When I went to the NTU and NUS open house, me and my comrades hearteningly agree that girls generally get to look better as they approach university. This is a very good thing but it can also be a bad thing when you find out they are all attached.

Personally, when I went back to collect my A Level results, I was very surprised to see the results of dressing up and putting on make up. It was like... who's this babe? Generally it's all good. Though it seemed very sexist to treat our female friends as eye candies, another point of view is that we truly appreciate their beauty and thus that is why we ogle, stare and flirt with you all.

Sadly, I have grown exceptionally ugly. Without my hair, I look 200 years older, or so I have been told. How I wish I could have my hair back... At least whenever I have eye contact with a girl, they wouldn't think I'm some pervertic recruit from BMT.

Well, there's nothing I can do but wait!

BMT ENDED!

2007-03-14T08:08:00.000+08:00

It wasn't a glorious march off. There wasn't even a ceremony and deep down in my heart, I despise myself a little for being in PES C. I wanted the pride and the feeling of achieving a PES A/B BMT. I wanted to go OCS, be the best, push myself and become a better person in the process.

But I guess it's not really a possibility now. Although I'm PES C, I still learnt a lot of useful stuff in the process. Although my section mates has always been teasing me on how garang I am, my positive attitude has gifted me with much skills and endurance.

Most notable among all the things I learnt is how to control my temper. Sometimes having section mates that are used to having their maids wash their laundry is not really the happiest thing in the world. But I'm glad to say I didn't snap at all during BMT. I endured, and I dealt with difficult people successfully!

Also, I learnt to take life less seriously. This, I credit to my section mates for teaching me this. My buddy taught me the techniques of chasing girls while the rest taught me life could be lived less seriously and thus I would have a lot less troubles to fret about!

My positive attitude and adversity quotient is strengthened through NS. No longer do I whine about small little things. I'm gonna meet every challenge with zest!

The list of things I learnt could go on and on, so I should just stop now.

But I should thank some people for making my life at BMT a wonderful one...

People at JJC
I learnt leadership and positive attitude and I can see how we are already better than other colleges, even top ones like HCI. We are indeed character focused and that's more important than anything like academia. We know the value of friends and the magic of orientation and gatherings. Teachers at JJC work magic, don't be ashamed anymore, JJCians. We are really good in our character values and leadership skills.

My Family
It has become enjoyable to hear my mum's voice through the phone during my BMT stay. Coming home, hearing advice from my brother and receiving care and concern from my parents really allows you to feel that there are always people out there that will stand by you and not forget you. I have realised how important family is. I must do my best to preserve my family.

Samantha Gan
Thanks for supporting me through confinement period. Your SMSes and phone chats are a costant morale booster to me. I really couldn't have made it without you.

Commanders at BMT
I thought my commanders would be sadistic people, but they turned to be very human. I actually can't believe Taurus commanders are so crazy, especially when they start seeing a soccer ball. Their human side have made us all smile and let us know that we are under the care of good commanders.

2nd Last BOOK IN!

2007-03-04T16:38:00.000+08:00

YESSSSH. It's my second last book in for my NS life. 1 week and 2 days more to pass out from BMT.

I can't wait to get over recruit life!

Although I did learn a lot in these few months, it's getting tougher to stay sane in there when you know slightly more freedom can be gained in just a few days.

After 13 March, I'm free for 12 days.

SO DATE ME OUT PLEASE! I don't wanna waste my good days away.

YESSSSH!

2007-03-03T10:26:00.000+08:00

All my hard work finally paid off! I remember the times I broke down, feel like dying and just couldn't take another piece of formula in anymore!

My strategy worked! I finally got my As!

Yep, I got 3As and B3 for GP. I knew what went wrong with GP, so I'm not too sad about it.

I'm very very satisfied I done my best this time round.

It's a sweet victory and milestone in my life.

I'm Actually At Home!

2007-03-01T09:10:00.000+08:00

In case you don't know, I have been at home since Tuesday night because of high fever. Field camp, apparently, was the last straw for my ill body and I simply hit 38.8 degrees and had to be sent home.

Frankly, I was breaking down because of the physical demands of field camp. Everything seemed doubly hard when you are sick.

I'm glad to be at home, and most probably I don't have to go back until Sunday night.

One last week of BMT and it will all be over!

A Level results will be released tomorrow. Strangely I don't feel nervous about it. That's a good thing, no sense worrying about something you cannot change.

So stop worrying, everyone!

Things to Look Forward To

2007-02-25T16:41:00.000+08:00

Results are possibly strongly rumored to be out this upcoming Friday!

JJ Night on 9 March, and I may get to go if I book out early!

I may even be able to stay for the night in JJ!

Then I shall pass out finally from BMTC, and not be a chao recruit anymore!

Following that I have 2 weeks of leave, which means I can be back to civilian world again!

25 March: My birthday!

The next day I'm gonna be posted to my unit. Praying hard it's close to my house.

Falling Sick in the Army

2007-02-25T07:55:00.000+08:00

I fell sick on Thursday while in camp.

Simple to say, falling sick makes everything seemed a thousand times more difficult. I already missed IPPT and I have to make it up tomorrow. With a fever still running now, I doubt I can pass it.

It's so unfair, I trained so hard for IPPT and then I fell sick and all my efforts went down the drain.

Moreover next week, our officers promised to unleash their fury on us during field camp. I can't afford to miss field camp or I will have to undergo BMT all over again.

Maybe it's my fault. Instead of resting on weekends, I always went out with friends and all. Instead of avoiding heaty stuff, I keep eating CNY goodies.

I don't know how to take care of my health. I'm a serious idiot at that.

Strange that when you get sick, no matter how physically and mentally strong you are, once you are bedridden, you have to depend on someone else to take care of you. And since everyone fall sick at least once in their lives, does it mean to say we are all meant from the very beginning to have care and concern for each other, rather than conflicts and wars?

Falling sick always made me realise how important being healthy is. It also reminds me the importance of friends and family being there to take care of you.

No man is an island, how true.

I must start appreciating people who are there for me instead of staring hard at their negative points.

Good luck to me for my last two weeks in BMT.

Chinese New Year!

2007-02-20T09:25:00.000+08:00

We went for another 2/4 outing yesterday! It was a little special this time, with the Chinese New Year mood in full force.

Personally I was thankful to be out of house la. Don't really know how come my other friends all disappeared.

No pictures! Simply because I'm not using a camera phone. I can't tell you how much my Motorola phone actually frustrates me. First there's lag in typing SMS, then there's no reception in enclosed areas (that's including shops!) and lastly, I screwed up the entire software thing till it can't read chinese.

Thank goodness for my trusty Nokia 3100. But frankly speaking, I'm so gonna get a smartphone again and this time, either from Nokia or Sony Ericsson. Functionality does matter, not looks. A hard lesson indeed.

Aside from a shiny new smartphone, I want to get a powerful laptop to play my games, update my blog, surf the net and simply just live my online life from. That's a faraway goal due to the cost.

Next up is a compact digicam. Ever since my last one broke down, I have been depending on my in-built phonecam. Frankly speaking, it's impossible to take a shot in the dark. And we all know how important photos are in preserving memories.

And if I really get rich from serving the army, I can probably get a PSP, a PS3, a new iPod, some good books, new clothes etc etc. My greed is infinite.

Anyway I met up with good old buddy Wei Yuan at Boon Lay MRT. Botak team then proceeded to Sin Kuan's house, where her relatives were already gathered!

And thus it was really crowded. What a splendid way to celebrate la. I guess most people have such celebrations. For me, I don't really have such huge extended families. My maternal side are all in Malaysia, which I strangely no longer keep in contact with. My paternal side are just 4 people, they are mainly unmarried.

That's why I get very very few angbaos every year. As much as I would love to have many relatives, fact is I can't. But I'm sure to change that in the future!

Sin Kuan's house was the gathering point for everyone. So we waited for Chee Wee, Xiu Ming and Sin Yee to arrive. Wei Liang was already there, playing with the kids as usual. To pass time, we played card games and gambled a little. I haven't gambled in a long while and strangely, it's bloody thrilling la.

From then on, we walked to Westmall and had Swensens! I ordered a MEGA burger, which I sadly couldn't finish in the end because I already had dinner before it. But still, it's enjoyable to talk, rant and rave with the same old people throughout the years.

Last destination was Xiu Ming's house. 6 people, 2 taxis. And we play mahjong there!

Although I was super tired and a bit giddy from the fun, I tried my best to stay on and played mahjong. Fortunately, I won a few times, so I was not a total disgrace. But mahjong is truly a complex game. I shall love to practice with it :p

After that was home sweet home. 1 taxi, 4 destinations.

1 outing. 7 great friends.

There's something special about us as a group.

I like them!

The First IPPT!

2007-02-19T10:33:00.000+08:00

So it rained yesterday evening, the time slot in which I planned to do my IPPT training.

But thankfully I didn't give up and around 9pm, I went for my second endurance run and some chin up practice.

It does seemed that my target of IPPT Gold is so far away. 10 chin ups? 9.44 mins for 2.4km? It's crazy, but given more time, I can do it.

The fact is, there's no time. My first real IPPT is this week. Can they at least postpone it?

Argh, I guess not, since it's not my father's army.

Actually I'm pretty inspired to keep fit nowadays. Firstly, I definitely feel better now with a stronger body. Secondly, it feels great to have a body that fills up the T-shirt and not just some bone-like flesh bag.

I'm seriously sick of being thin and weak. So now I'm frantically trying to be the best in everything. I try my best to start running behind my friends and end up finishing among the first and I do my own exercises during my free time everyday.

My goal is a never ending one, but it shall definitely be super rewarding!

Sleep I Need

2007-02-18T14:26:00.000+08:00

I think I forgot how to sleep more than 7 hours.

Why is it after just 7 hours I awoke with a jolt and have a sudden urge to fall in for 5BX?

I'm slowly turning grey.

Nostalgia

2007-02-17T20:38:00.000+08:00

Nostalgia...

Old friends...

Old outings...

Old obsessions...

Can I ever go back?

I look upon JJ Orientation and feel a sense of long lost home. I browse through my handphone contacts list and wonder will I ever keep in contact with most of my friends.

Only now do I cherish the friendships I once had.

I don't know why. But I was wrong to ignore some of my friends because of some stupid complications.

Can't go back now though.

Just trying to make the best of my life.

Back for 2nd Time

2007-02-16T17:34:00.000+08:00

Just came back from Tekong!

And I'm totally tired.

Civilian life.

Army life.

Two different worlds. I totally miss civilian life. The notion of freedom is so much desired now.

Then again, it's a process that has allowed me to learn many many things and also made me treasure whatever I used to have as a civilian.

Army: From boys to men.

And moreover, we are still considered fortunate in today's army. My brother's time was much worse.

Upcoming events:

Live grenade.
IPPT.
Field camp.
Live range.
Battle inoculation.
Pass out from BMT.

It's gonna get a hell lot worse and also more interesting!

BYE for the second time!

2007-02-11T18:35:00.000+08:00

Leaving house in less than 10 minutes! I'm up for another 5 days of BMT and I'm determined to do my best in everything!

Alright, I did buy a little too much supplies, resulting in my field pack being ballooned to astronomical size. I bet my spine gonna worsen by carrying it all the way to Pasir Ris.

Anyway, it would be a quick 5 days! Following week would be even better!

So see ya soon! And do keep in contact!

A More Specific Experience

2007-02-10T07:36:00.000+08:00

Frankly, I woke up at 7 plus this morning because I am simply used to sleeping very little. And moreover I no longer want to waste time since my weekend time is running out fast!

I'm also having this terrible cough that keeps my heart beating at 200 miles per second. Imagine trying to train under the hot sun with this kind of heart fluttering feeling. You just can't stop fearing you would have a heart attack.

Anyway, my 2 weeks confinement period is over, which every Singaporean boy have to go through. Truth to be told, it was a mentally demanding experience, as I frequently miss the outside world and think about missed opportunities.

Thankfully, I grew up with NPCC, so I'm quite used to regimentation life. However my bunkmates aren't and I have to frequently hear their complains (their complains are laden with vulgarities of every type).

I developed the mentality that these 2 years would be a chance for me to experience new things and grow both physically and mentally. As such, I look forward to every activity and wanted to be best in everything.

But soon I realised quite a number of things...

1. I'm a bloody slow learner. But once I practice, I catch up pretty fast.

2. I'm damn insociable.

3. I need to learn to attract the crowds.

4. My left feet is bigger than my right, thus my shoes are always too tight and super uncomfortable.

5. I'm too thin.

Actually there's more la, but I can't think up much now.

Rumors are abound that A Level results would be released next week. Good news is I would get to go back to school! Bad news is I may not do very well.

Sigh.

Another thing. NS really tears you apart from girls.

Will I miss a opportunity for true love because of my 2 years?

MAN!

2007-02-09T23:04:00.000+08:00

I BOOKED OUT!

After two weeks of confinement, I'm really glad to be home, but also a little sad at the thought I would book in so soon.

Too tired now to write much, but simply put, NS is really a good experience for me, though I gave up lots of things because of it.

I'm a different man now!

GOODBYE!

2007-01-26T05:45:00.000+08:00

Goodbye everyone!

As much as I am sad to leave you all, I'm equally excited and optimistic about a new life in there and a new beginning!

Goodbye, Hui Ying, Lingxin, Sharon, Qiu Kun, Ivy. Sorry for the emo msg last night!

Goodbye, Sin Kuan, Sin Yee, Xiu Ming, Wei Liang, Wei Yuan, I knew it wouldn't be the last time we meet.

Goodbye, Nattaporn, Lawrence, Apple, Amanda, Jasmine, Samantha, I wouldn't forget the things you did for me before I leave.

Goodbye, OG4 and special thanks to Lin Ling for making the present till your fingers bled!

Goodbye, OG2 and special thanks for surprising me with a CHEESECAKE that day. You all really were unexpected good things that happened to me.

Goodbye, my very own OG21. Some of you have drifted away, but nevertheless I still considered you all as my juniors and the privileged OG21 members!

Goodbye, Rubbish! Totally rubbish!

Goodbye S12 and all the good friends I made in there. Thanks Evelyn, Jessica, Shi Wei for messaging me last night. Thanks Cui Min, Yi Wen, Pei Wen, Gary for still hanging out together. Thank you Zhen Wei for still remembering me.

Goodbye Mia. And your message so far away did reach me! REPLY MY EMAIL!

Goodbye, piggy! Clarissa, your present was unexpected! You are a nice person!

Goodbye Sokkin! Study hard!

Goodbye Hui Kim, don't get too stressed and sentimental!

Goodbye Sin Yee and thanks for offering to end my week with a BANG! But I dunno how come you never reply my sms in the end?

Too many goodbyes too little time. Current time is 5.55am. Gonna leave house in 10 minutes.

SEE YOU ALL IN 2 WEEKS!

P.S. If I missed out on you, it doesn't mean anything except that I don't have enough time to finish this post.

The Last Day

2007-01-25T10:15:00.000+08:00

The horror training stories, the haunting ghosts, the lack of sleep...

Tekong, HERE I COME!

Blog hiatus for two weeks!

The Amazing!

2007-01-24T10:54:00.000+08:00

Had another great dinner last night with a amazing crew of people. Really really really thanks to everyone who turned up. We rocked NYDC down and traumatised the staff with our cheese-flavoured plain water. No one could do it with more style!

I'm seriously needing a new digicam. I can't preserve all my wonderful dinners with my lousy little handphone cam.

But its at least $500 plus for a stylish one! Argh, I'm guilty if I spend so much in one go. Plus, I can't back my buying since I'm going into army so soon and there's no reason why I really need one.

But I will definitely get it before university. Not to even mention my laptop and my printer. And a change of my phone to a more reliable one. I'm sick of getting NO service almost everywhere.

2 short days to ARMY! I'm shivering with anticipation! What will life be like there? Hell or heaven? Will there be good buddies found or bastard bunkmates? Will I turn bad or be even stronger?

A new chapter: Army Life is about to begin!

Image Makeover Part 1

2007-01-23T16:54:00.000+08:00

I finally...

Changed my specs! And got a black frame one just in time for the army!

Been using my OOOOLD specs for too long.

Now left the botak part.

And the hot bod too!

Then I will be a full-fledged NSMAN!

The Marvellous Secondary School Class

2007-01-23T09:33:00.000+08:00

I can't understand it, let alone explain it. Even till now, I always enjoyed going out with these bunch of people. Is it because we meet infrequently and thus there is always the freshness factor involved?

Or is there a complicated web of weird relationships?

This group of people, my classmates of 2/4, I really wish to thank you all for turning up in full force yesterday, just in time to "see me off".

Thanks, BIG head Sin Kuan, MANLY Wei Liang, NICE Wei Yuan, CUTE Pristine, GOTHIC Sin Yee and EVIL Xiu Ming!

Our friendship is truly unique.

And I did enjoyed myself yesterday. The great food, the even greater company, that's something that's definitely going to stay in my memory for a long time.

Hope you all enjoyed it too!

Nicer!

2007-01-22T13:47:00.000+08:00

I'm officially going to be nicer to myself.

Weird statement? Let me explain...

All this while, I have been nice to almost everyone but myself. I'm taking the self-sacrificial thing too seriously. And I'm going overboard on this nice guy stuff.

So from today onwards, I'm going to indulge myself.

I'm Jealous

2007-01-16T09:35:00.000+08:00

Each time I read the OGLs' blog, I'm flaming jealous because I don't get to enjoy the post-orientation mood anymore. I don't get to enjoy caring over my campers, camping at the canteen to look at girls or just playing hockey throughout the afternoon.

I miss school, really, when I'm still so attached to people that are still in it. I didn't expect to miss it so much.

But I keep telling myself, move on, you had your share of JC life, it's time to close it.

Just like Peter Pan, I sometimes wished I never grew up.

Anyway, I have been doing this journaling thing for a week now, fully recording down as best as possible what I have been doing throughout the day and my thoughts of certain particular events. It's different from my diary because my diary mainly just record my deepest emotions of major events.

I'm loving it, because 10 years down the road, I can flip open my many journals and see what a idiot I was.

And I'm filling up my first journal fast.

Anyway I went for my 4th gym session yesterday and along with that, my first swimming lesson with Wei Yuan and Wei Liang. I really need more practice la, I can't swim 10m without getting drowned.

I'm happy that it's becoming a habit to work out. I'm really working towards the hot bod thing, and I'm always motivated whenever you start seeing your muscles expand after each workout. And I feel more confident of my body too :)

Anyway time is running out on me. There are still so many things to do.

It's Nearly Time to Say Goodbye

2007-01-14T10:17:00.000+08:00

Before I finally go into army,

And shave botak, losing my precious looks,

I must do one last thing...

In fact many things...

All my closest friends shall receive something soon!

And I don't understand why I got so emo ever since I got into JJ. Maybe cuz my emotional genes are developing?

I feel super touched when small gestures I do earn sincere appreciation from someone. It made me feel significant in a way, and that I have impacted my friends' life.

I love OG21, because I was their OGL, their friend and their mentor all at once.

OG21, do you remember the joy we had during Orientation 2006? When we had World of Combat? The Night Game? The e-web where I cried like there's no tomorrow?

Because I always wasn't with you and I sacrificed valuable time I could spend with my OG to prepare games for everyone, and because it was so damn tough and sad to be a backstage OGL, that's why I cried. And worse, when you all took the initiative to shake each other's hands during e-web, I really felt it was worth it.

I never never never regretted joining orientation, because it was a place, despite all the critics, where I could find so much emotions.

And to the particular closer clique Hui Ying, Lingxin, Qiu Kun, Ivy, Sharon, Wei Liang, Yi Fan, I simply cannot keep track of the number of outings we had. When I was down with studies, facing so much pressure and stress, it was you all that brought me the energy and joy.

I still remember my birthday in which you all prepared a splendid party for me. I would never forget the moment of feeling cherished and loved.

To these few special people, I must say you all killed a part in me. A part of me that has forgotten friendship. But a new me has came about, and my life has ever been different.

Our heartfelt emotions for each other are rarely expressed in words, like when Wei Liang always lending support for Sharon when she was down, when we took particular concern when Hui Ying became sad, when Qiu Kun encountered the school bitch...

I want to thank you all very very much for letting me learn so many things. I couldn't have gotten through year 2 without you all.

Here is my public dedication to...

Ivy, you have always been a joy to have in our group. The ever cheerful, but I do recognise sometimes you too will be sad and whenever that happens, I do try my best to be there for you. You always appreciated whatever I did for you all and your simple thank-you smses really gave me the spark to continue doing the things I have been doing thus far.

Hui Ying, you are the pillar of our group, our strength, our faith and our leader. Our outings are impossible without your ideas. The gifts you always did for us, of course I noticed, are like an oasis in th desert, giving us a lot of relief during out trying year 2 years. I can't say enough thank yous for you, so I may have to keep saying to you all my life.

Sharon is our resident cute girl who with her emotions and problems, appeared to me as the most human of our group. Without a doubt, there have been millions of times when my heart aches when she shed a tear over her problems. I always wanted to care and lend support but I know I couldn't. Someone else was doing the job but still I really really don't want her to be sad anymore, because I never felt so hurt because a friend is down.

Lingxin, ever the weird crappy sort, though with my persistent digging, has not revealed her true emotions. But lately, there has been improvement! But still, she has always gave me joy when she strongly reject any outing for ours. Her enduring faith in us is a testament of our friendship, that we are linked together more closely than we know. Lingxin will always be there, in rain or shine, providing a presence that is comforting and reassuring.

Qiu Kun, you have been busy! She was once rare to turn out for our outings, but now she graciously attends all. Though I have rarely seen the deep side of her, I always love her eyes when she gave us the benefit of doubt. She may not know it, but you are a terribly awesome junior because of the respect I feel you are giving me. Thank you so much, and I must say you inspire constantly with your running abilities. You really are the super strong type!

All right, I'm tired from writing so much. I shall continue over my last 2 weeks!

There Are Still Friends

2007-01-11T10:01:00.000+08:00

I'm really really comforted everyone thinks I'm a nice guy. I don't know, but one of my lifelong habit is to constantly win the approval of everyone, which I know isn't a good thing.

Anyway I did went back to school for the CCA Open House yesterday. And frankly, I wasn't so concerned with hockey. I was more concerned about the school because it was really one of the last times I'm gonna spend there.

I did have a lot of regrets, like chasing after the wrong stuff, but like a blogger who wrote: "We wouldn't be here if not for our mistakes.", I guess I should be thankful I'm stronger, better in many ways.

Each orientation made me many friends, some I kept along the years, some that went along other paths. Still, it's been an eye-opener meeting distinctly different people, especially this time when I worked with such amazing facilitators with their own stories to tell.

It sure looks I didn't do a good job at e-web, because supposedly everyone should cry. I hope I can go back next year again.

Anyway, we all need to talk more, be it to your girlfriend, your parents, your teachers, your grandparents, your friends, your school canteen vendors. There really is a lot to be gained from talking deep, and that will be my goal from now on. To talk a lot but sensible stuff mostly!

Just some random ranting!

I still love OG21!

3 Things About Myself

2007-01-08T17:45:00.000+08:00

I don't consider myself a neat freak, but I'm close to one. I can't stand clutter and I actually consider cleaning up and organising a hobby of mine.

Here's some more proof. In chalets, I spend a significant amount of time packing stuff and making sure there's no clutter. But as all of you know, it's an endless job because it takes 1 min to mess everything up and 30 mins to pack up.

I normally give up after a while and just settle for the mess.

My room is untidy nowadays because I have been going out a lot and spending more time at the computer. Still, I'm gonna tidy it up later and strangely, the thought of a organised room delights me. Am I psychotic? I guess I just have this tendency for space and neatness.

But why limit organisation to my room? It's time to have the mentality to turn my entire house into a better and neater place. It's time for some home improvement! I guess I got these genes from my mum, simply because she can't stand clutter too.

The second thing about myself is I am having this obsession with a zest for life.

I want to try out everything: cooking, baking, adventuring, backpacking, film production, chess, etc etc.

I want to be interested in whatever I do, be it work or just an old classic game. I believe there's a lot up to our mentality to make something that's boring fun!

Well, it's hard to put it in words, but life sure has many many things in store for us. Just when you thought you knew and experienced everything, something comes along to delight or surprise you.

I just can't wait to experience more things.

The third and final thing I will reveal today is... I think best when I'm in a shower or on a toilet bowl. The ideas just keep coming, but the sad thing is I rarely have any means to record them down before I forget them totally. Well, I guess that's a dirty little secret I just revealed, for the sake of fun!

Tomorrow there's a facilitators meet up dinner and I can't wait! Simply because I got nothing to do at home.

It's My 3rd Orientation Camp!

2007-01-06T20:39:00.001+08:00

I wanna do it over and over again, no matter that there are cold showers, bad food and lack of sleep. First, I had JJ orientation as a camper, then as an OGL and now as a facilitator! I really must say I enjoyed myself working with such wonderful people, the facilitators and guiding a new generation of ultra-passionate OGLs.

I already miss orientation loads already and I wonder if I can ever go back to become a facilitator next year. Despite all the gossip and uglies surrounding JJ, I really felt at home with orientation, when all defenses were pulled down and all we did was say hi to EVERYONE and cry and hug each other.

The OGLs I worked together were brilliant and super nice people. I wanna say thank you to Rouisanna, Hanna, Kian Wee and Xin Yi for reminding me of what a true OGL meant. It meant that we will break down for our campers, sacrifice everything to let them have fun and eventually become friends with them.

I was assigned to OG4, in which I was rather skeptical over the bonding because everyone was a foreigner. Little that I realise, when they told me at E-Web, that being foreigners and so far away from home, they have become even closer friends that rely on each other.

If only I could spend more time with them. I will miss those people.

Orientation was perhaps the only times that I felt true friendships in my life. Other times, I was competing secretly with my best friends, hating this particular friend for his character and attitude and having secret feelings for this girl. Never in my normal life would I experience plain, true friendship like what I had these few days.

Never did I cry for my friends...

Never did I hug them...

Or ask them how they are...

Until this orientation made me realise friendship can be so much more.

I really learnt a lot.

JJC Prom Nite 2006

2006-12-30T14:44:00.000+08:00

Yesterday night was a spectacular event full of glamour, live music, phototaking and babes. I'm beginning to miss it already.

Everyone was beautifully dressed and the guys department really brought out their own styles. Who said guys' dressing were boring? We just redefined it.

And I realised I bought some Love Fiesta tickets when I couldn't go because I would be in army. Anybody want to buy from me the $10 worth of tickets? It's on 2nd Feb if I remember correctly.

And it was rather crippling without my digicam. I forgot to include the fact that when the lights are off, my handphone can't take a single proper picture. But it's too late to regret not rushing off to repair my cam. Who needs a cam in army anyway?

Still, I took tons of pictures, thanks to my undying efforts to snap snap snap whenever the lights came on.

Here are two of them for now:

I'm lazy to post up the rest!

Back From A Long Trip!

2006-12-27T14:38:00.000+08:00

Frankly speaking, I was really tired after the OG chalet to go to Hong Kong and I did start to miss home every night I was there. But still, I survived the weeks and I'm now back in Singapore! And in time to celebrate Christmas too!

Here are tons of pictures I took with my handphone during the trip! Gosh, I think I really need a digicam.

We managed to do so much shopping that I nearly vomited when I came into another shopping mall in Singapore. Shopping is great fun in moderation and the continuous days in which we shop is really tiring. It was also a difficult affair in allocating how much to spend on what.

Lyoe's family was an absolutely perfect host, inviting us to a grand dinner and bringing us around. Moreover, Lyoe's grandparents gave up their house to us and move into Lyoe's own house. They even boiled water, among other things, every morning for us. Words can't express our gratitude towards them for making our trip such a comfortable and relaxing one.

When it was time to go, I got a little emotional though I tried my best to hide it. I would miss Lyoe and his family and this little time together we have.

The lessons learnt during this trip was aplenty. One of them was that I had remarkly short tempers when I'm tired and it took a lot of energy to stay cheerful and all. I get really emo when I'm fatigued and I really hate this.

Coming back to Singapore, I realised nothing much has changed. But returning back to Singapore made me realise how lonely I actually am. Without the ties of schooling to bond me and my friends, I felt they could leave me any moment.

I noticed how shallow most of my friendships are, and I utterly blame myself for my situation. How many times has it been that I have treated my friends as a social status, with more friends being associated with being more successful? When have I ever treated my friends as equals, with love, respect and individuals?

Billions of people in the world and I can't make a single true friend...

But I promise things will change from today onwards!

Anyway I joined up with the facilitators for orientation 2007! Initially I had a little hesitation because I was afraid I would be an outcast among the councillors, but spending a night with the non-councillors facilitators made me realise I still could blend in. And I had a lot of fun during the wet games!

Going through a camp being an example for everyone to follow and without much sleep would be tough, but I'm gonna try.

Prom in 2 days time!

Off To Hong Kong!

2006-12-17T18:16:00.000+08:00

I'm now officially excited about my Hong Kong trip when I think about all the stuff I can do there!

1. I will shop like hell and buy loads of stuff, trying out new fashion styles etc!

2. Racing against time to be creative and make Xmas presents for my friends back in Singapore.

3. Taking loads of pictures everywhere!

4. Checking out the local babes.

5. The food. Oh my.

6. The Rubbish things we are going to do.

It's gonna be super memorable. But for now, I should say: do check out my blog some time next mid week. I shall update it from there!

Till then, Merry Christmas!

I shall come back safe and sound!

A Super Cosy Chalet!

2006-12-17T10:22:00.000+08:00

The Festives Are Coming!

2006-12-11T11:19:00.000+08:00

I remained extremely convinced everyone should take the effort to celebrate Christmas and New Year eve. But when it comes to finding people to spend it with, it's difficult because everyone already have a mindset of who they want they want to spend it with.

And thus, till this date, I can't find a proper group of friends to celebrate Christmas with. The lack of commitment is simply a source of frustration for me these past few weeks.

Argh. I don't want to spend Christmas alone.

I Love The Computer!

2006-12-11T00:24:00.000+08:00

I tried for hours in vain to change the look of this plain blogskin. But still, I'm gonna play around with the new Beta features a lot more. It sure is promising with the widgets. Things like tags are gonna be much more easier to implement with widgets.

If you haven't convert your blog now, do so now by signing in!

Today was mostly nothing but just fiddling with the computer and planning the days ahead.

I'm trying extremely hard to get interested in playing Baldur's Gate. Being a RPG of the good old days, it's very unlike the action-packed RPGs of today, say for example Oblivion. Without stunning graphics, you really need a lot of patience to play it.

Yes, it does have its dull when my characters walk across acres of grassland with nothing to do and nothing to pursue. But I must persist! It does get interesting when I get to some areas. Moreover, the game would have at least 200 more hours of gameplay to offer.

I can't give up such a long journey and a good challenge, can I?

Currently level 4 and into chapter 3. Estimated completion of the game: 0.01%

Reading Death Note manga now. It's an awesome story because it is intelligent in its way. Yet, I want deeper characters! How can I relate to a top student who apparently doesn't worry his parents at all when he spend his whole day in the room (when apparently he is conducting his Death Note murders)?

Currently into chapter 11.

Okay, enough about geeky stuff. Tomorrow is officially the second OG21 chalet! But invitation is limited because we knew it's hard to get people who are rather detached now to pretend to have fun and be integrated into our clique.

These kind of things happen all the time. Clique always form and those that are left out, well, hopefully find a clique of their own. Most of the time, they do.

I have been in so many different cliques all my life. But the one I treasure the most?

Sadly, I never thought about that. To me, I learnt never to place too much dependency on friends. For me, I strive to keep a balance between all things.

I wonder if that is the right path?

Home!

2006-12-09T23:54:00.000+08:00

I guess I can say I'm lucky enough to have the whole computer to myself this week as my brother is out of Singapore. Or else, I may just be bored to death.

Things are picking up again!

Tomorrow morning I'm going to meet OG21 peeps for chalet preparation. Afternoon is chilling out at a board games cafe with my class. The board games cafe concept sound so cool la, especially since I love board games a lot.

Why do I love it? Just imagine a nice air-conditioned place. Drinking your favourite coffee and time seems to slow down as friends huddle around closely.

Frankly, I would love a family and friends oriented home. Then I would invite people frequently over. It shall be a really warm place.

Why do I think like this? Simply because I hate being alone. Thus I vow never to spend the next part of my life being that.

Hmmm, the idea of a friends and family oriented home. Can I apply it even now?

A New Blogger!

2006-12-09T14:20:00.000+08:00

Had a nice surprise this afternoon when I logged on to my Dashboard. It's great to see something improved considering this blog thing has almost become a daily ritual to me.

But I feel like taking a nap soon. So the exploration can wait!

Anyway, I went for volunteering at an elderly home yesterday. Didn't take any photos because I didn't think it was appropriate to post such photos here. Gotta respect privacy more.

But it was great! Met an elderly man called George, who apparently claimed he was the youngest of the group there. Chatting with him was awesome, simply because he was the only one that spoke excellent English there.

Being there, sitting quietly as time slowed around us and I'm once again drawn into the simpler yet more important things in life, I finally found my tranquility. I do feel a tinge of sadness as I looked at their faces and I vowed to take care of my own parents for life. That's the least I can do given the circumstances.

Evening came and I had to leave early to meet up with Samantha. Dinner was horrible because the laksa simply wasn't that nice anymore. Really should have gone to some restaurant or something.

But things picked up after we chatted at NYDC. And yep, time does rush by when you are enjoying yourself.

Chatting with her makes me ever so curious about a life I never had as I look on in envy at the rich, the beautiful and the powerful.

I'm not any of these, but at least I'm still sane. There are a lot of things that could have led me down a stray road. But I never did, and I'm thankful for that.

Then again, NS is coming. What kind of people would I meet? What kind of person would I become?

Reminisce

2006-12-08T00:33:00.000+08:00

Today we went hunting for prom clothes, or rather, I accompanied them on a mad rush to find the cheapest jackets in town.

Actually, I do already have an intention of what to wear for prom, just hesitant about spending so much money on one blazer that I might not wear for a very long time. I'm placing high hopes on a blazer from my brother. He's bringing it home soon.

Anyway it was a nice surprise to run into the KUKU sisters, Lia and Shiyun!

Argh, I sure miss the times together with them, back in first 3 months when we were so so close. Then I kind of drifted apart from them and I really felt it was my fault that I never took the effort to keep in contact.

Nonetheless, it only reminds me I should do something now! I'm already having a list of old friends to meet up and hopefully I get to meet another friend as planned tomorrow!

Well, the LONG trip back home from Raffles Place with Wei Yuan also gave me the opportunity to swarm him with old memories.

I kept going, "Wei Yuan, do you remember last time we..."

He often replied with, "Got meh? How come I don't remember anything?"

Then he did go, "It seems like that I don't remember much."

But still, I fortunately still remember many many happy times.

Like playing rubber guns in a classroom and using chairs placed on tables as barriers.

Smacking my friend on the back when he tried to scare me.

Being scolded in NPCC back in secondary school by someone very scary.

Eating curry puffs at the bus stop and drinking "Young Coconut Juice"!

Staying overnight at Lyoe's house, having pillow fights, tolerating extremely bad singing and going out at 3am to get supper at 7-Eleven.

Sitting together with Peh Sin Yee in sec one!

Laughing at Wei Min and Kai Quan wrestle it out in class and crushing each other's notes in the process.

Bioing chio bu at classrooms across the school compound.

Struggling to finish our meals first as the last person must put back all the plates.

Hammering a campcraft hook so hard that I torn off my skin during a very harsh and tense NPCC training.

Stripping down to underwear in some corner of the school to change uniforms because there was no time.

I could go on and on. But it would probably bore most of you since most of these don't relate much.

But well, just trying to say, memories are beautiful. Why don't you try reminiscing by writing down a list of the little fun things you did before?

Rest!

2006-12-05T16:32:00.000+08:00

It's amazing what hours of sleep could do to your state of mind. Apparently I have been so busy and tensed lately I have forgotten the serenity of resting enough.

I now feel like I can take on the world again!

Anyway, this week continue to be a slow week. First habit to cultivate is to force myself to do introvert activities as I have planned. It's not easy when slack comes in and make you feel like you are being pushed along by external forces.

But anyway, I need to brush on my Chinese. I still have no idea what Zhou Jie Lun is singing.

An Update Long Due

2006-12-03T19:38:00.000+08:00

I finally got down to typing this blog post because this is the only thing I feel like doing after having stomach runs for the past 2 hours. I'm feeling increasingly better and thank goodness too, I really felt like crap a while ago.

Well, today was relatively quiet. Till today, I have been going out almost everyday with my friends and the expenditure has been gigantic. Gonna stay home most of the time for the next upcoming week because I do have a chalet and Hong Kong trip coming very soon. I feel guilty asking money from my parents.

I kind of miss school already. I miss having so many familiar places in a place where I could strangely call a second home. It may sound crazy for some of you, but try going to your real home each night with hardly anyone talking to you.

Still, I have to adapt la. And I feel quite uneasy playing all the time. I need to get a job and do some work. But considering no one's hiring me anytime soon, since I have so many other holiday commitments, I'm considering doing volunteer work to occupy my time and at the same time, do my bit for the community.

Hmm, let me count. I have completed about 1 per cent of my "After Exams To Do List" and doubt I will make any more significant progress. But I'm focusing on what's important, like meeting up with old friends. Then again, money is a factor.

Well, the next few days will be finally some quiet time with myself! But don't hesitate to contact me!

Introvert Activities

2006-11-29T10:18:00.000+08:00

Been involving myself in a lot of introvert activities lately!

Fighting huge battles in Rome: Total War and trying hard to rule the world. Defending my new empire against thousands of Gaulish barbarians ain't no easy feat!

Reading The Broker by John Grisham on the train, at home and everywhere I can afford. It is light reading with just enough thrills and the conspiracy elements in it.

Reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, which is really the best self-help book I have ever come across. Imagine a new paradigm focusing on good old values like kindness, fairness, justice etc. The book claims these principles are essential for success. It truly rhymes with my inner thoughts!

Going down all the way to Bas Brasah to get two second-hand books. The first, the book "7 Habits..." as mentioned above at $12 at near mint condtion. And another, "The Purpose Driven Life", a $8 near mint Christian book that talks all about a purpose in life from God's perspective.

Trying my hand at cooking rice and beansprouts yesterday. Yeah I know, it seems ridiculous I don't even know how to cook up a proper meal. But I'm learning!

Have been wanting to go to the gym, but till today, I have registered zero trips down. I keep delaying the process. Heck, maybe I would start hitting only after the holidays.

Clubbing tonight! My virgin experience! I'm perplexed over what to wear.

Here's some pictures!

These are what I meant by, BUDDIES.

Old Friends And Many More!

2006-11-27T08:31:00.000+08:00

S13 outing yesterday! Though we more or less wandered around aimlessly after the Sakae sushi lunch, I still managed to try on some clothes. I keep saying, "it's the female genes in me", as I crusade like a madman throughout the shopping malls.

But anyway, here's the long awaited picture taken with Yawen (I didn't post it up last time cause it was too dark, now I edited it)

And some more girls!

Wonder why I only took pictures with girls? Cause it's sometimes plain weird I go up to a guy and say, "Let's take a picture together!". Those kind of things can't happen often or I would have problem with my gender differentiation.

Anyway, I did try on some clothes and here they are for everyone's reviewing!

Simple blazer, good enough for prom, but I'm thinking of something more.

Long sleeved.

Now with jacket on.

Another jacket!

Frankly, after looking at the amount of awesome shirts available, I really think I need to build up. Ya ya, I'm fast becoming a metrosexual. Well, I don't what I should say. But I just enjoy indulging in the finer things of life!

Or is it just a cover-up?

What's Up This Whole Week?

2006-11-26T10:59:00.000+08:00

Another 2/4 chalet came immediately after my S12 one. Thankfully, it only lasted 2 days or I could have blacked out when playing bridge. Though all we did is play mahjong and bridge, it was strangely very fun! Well, probably because this time, there was enough beds for everyone!

And not to forget, I went back to Commonwealth yesterday as they were having a farewell party (CSS is being torn down soon). Not a whole lot of people came, but I did catch up with a friend or two.

Peh Sin Yee! Contrast of colours!

Chua Sin Kuan! 3 Days!!!

Samantha - Actually very very chio.

Elaine - Violent Tendencies!

ARGH. I'm still jobless. But I'm definitely making progress. Hopefully I can get a simple job at a factory packaging plant. Who's going to hire me for two weeks?

Till today, 9 days has passed since As ended. Although everything is going more or less according to plan, there's something that made me very sad everytime I think of it.

It hurts... a lot.

S12 Chalet

2006-11-23T09:40:00.000+08:00

S12 chalet is officially over! Aside from getting nearly drunk and having a very bad sore throat, there was lots of fun, laughter and food!

Unfortunately I left early because I have another chalet today.

But till then, here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure!

Clean Up!

2006-11-21T09:43:00.000+08:00

I was up yesterday night trying to clean up my room. Though cooking up tons of dust and uncovering hidden rubbish was not really appealing, I did found some treasures, some momentos of memories long past.

Actually I really feel great getting rid of the clutter in my room. Now, upon seeing a less cramped room, I can't wait to decorate the room the photo frames and such. But that has to wait. My class chalet is in less than 4 hours.

3 days has passed. I have deliberately kept myself busy busy busy. Hopefully, I can get a job for the next two weeks, or else I'm really gonna rot at home all the way until my OG21 chalet.

And after OG21 chalet would be the much awaited Hong Kong trip, and then Christmas would come! Frankly, I don't have any plans for the wonderful season yet. Anybody holding a party?

Well, I'm gonna clock in some Rome Total War gaming hours now before I go on to Cui Min's house to help out with the BBQ food.

Stay strong everyone!

OG Outings!

2006-11-20T08:12:00.000+08:00

Although only 2 days has passed since A levels ended, it felt weeks have gone by. It's probably because of the sheer amount of things I have experience these two days. Life has been a blur, though a fun one.

Aside from hanging out at VivoCity, Sentosa, Queensway, Takashimaya these two days, I have been watching a very awesome show called Heroes. It's now the highest rated show on American TV. It's better than Lost, Prison Break, Smallville, whatsoever.

And not to forget trying to rule Rome in Rome: Total War!

And yep, more pictures! Been trying to fill up my phone lately.

And the next week would be chalet, chalet, chalet!

In the midst of all these fun, I'm trying my best to forget something.

After Exams in A Memorable Way!

2006-11-18T09:45:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was officially the last day of exams and our class went to steamboat at Turf City for a little R&R. And it turned really cool, and here are the photos for your savoury pleasure!

Shi Wei got all the babes.

All I got was one very possessive girl :(

Er... turn your head to see this photo.

Two babes! Woohoo!

Now that's what I mean by photos are PRECIOUS!

That Addiction

2006-11-14T19:41:00.000+08:00

I have no idea why I have so little control over myself, especially when it comes to gaming.

The moment I came home, I started gaming, mainly because I don't feel like studying for the two papers tomorrow. Well, I know I shouldn't do this now, but sigh, I'm really tired of studying ya?

And anyway, it's more or less decided. I ain't sure of my results. I may get very bad grades actually. I guess I really underestimated this A levels, thinking it would be easier than the average prelim paper.

Well no use speculating now. At least I'm happy gaming after my tedious 2 hour 15 min econs paper 3.

And I told myself to go eat at 7pm. Now it's officially 7.38 and I'm still at the computer. Argh I really need some self control.

Help me.

Revelations Number 42034

2006-11-08T16:02:00.000+08:00

Yesterday night was perhaps the worst night of the year. Firstly, I felt extremely demoralised by my Math paper 1. Secondly, I couldn't sleep and I keep feeling like I'm on the verge of screwing Chemistry up too.

So I was thinking, everything in A levels should go perfectly. There shouldn't be a question I cannot do, but the opposite occurred and I left a question blank for my Math. Although I told myself it was a difficult paper, another side asked why others could do and I couldn't?

And so my self-victimising began and I nearly died if not for Jessica, who gave me a call to reassure me everything's still fine.

But frankly, I think I'm taking these exams too hard. Even at the start of the Math paper, I was already panicking.

Today, well, was different. I finally got to sleep a little after Chemistry and the paper was smooth sailing. I already got one part of a question wrong but I'm telling myself forget about it. I already tried my best. Besides, it's impossible to get everything correct.

I'm such a perfectionist nowadays because I keep reassuring a friend that faith and belief is enough in accomplishing the impossible and thus I myself fall into the trap that I should be perfect throughout this ordeal.

I quite forgotten that success is not everything in life.

Mentioning that, I got a 45 degree change in life perspective today. Where initially I was eager to become the most famous, richest guy on the planet, now I'm just clamoring for an average life reaching for what's most important in life.

People around you. A stable career. Enough play. Some spiritual fulfillment.

Now that I though these out, I feel as if A levels is over. You wouldn't believe the amount of stress I have laid on myself these few weeks. It's been affecting my mental state, my health and most importantly the people around me.

From today onwards, it's time to start to focus on what's really important!

For now, doing the impossible is not the most important. Doing my best is.

Mr Saint

2006-11-04T22:21:00.000+08:00

I got this strange perspective on life.

If you have enough faith and belief, you can do almost everything on Earth.

Well, except things like jumping off Mount Everest and surviving.

And I have a strong belief good guys always win. And the right way to live life is to be a good guy.

Somehow some way, a few years down the road, everyone sees how wrong they are when they were young. Why is that?

Are we moralistic by nature? Or bounded by society's standards to conform?

I choose to believe we are the formal, and everyone has a chance of redemption, even that Ah Beng that beat you up a week ago.

That's why I now have a strong set of values to live by.

Hard work.

Honour.

Gentlemanly.

Honesty.

Integrity.

Kindness.

And the list of good stuff just goes on.

But what if I'm wrong? What if these values ain't the correct one? What if we ARE supposed to live life as we want?

Confusing... But my dream has always to be a good guy, inspire others to have a good life and get everyone around me to be good guys too.

Strange dreams, but still dreams....

Tomorrow Is A Better Day!

2006-11-02T12:37:00.000+08:00

Ah. Finally the first of the A levels papers is officially over. I did my best, tried my best and I don't think I would do any better unless I had the whole year to prepare.

Initially I was more prepared for Paper 2 Comprehension than Paper 1 Essay, but turns out I'm more confident of the latter now. Miraculously, all the praying works. It really did came out with something I studied all day. Is it luck or intelligent intervention?

Ding. I prefer it to be intelligent intervention for now. At least I can rest assured hard work works, and I'm not just another Han Solo.

warning: geek speak!

Anyway, Neverwinter Nights 2 is out! So one thing to be happy about.

As you can see, the graphics is amazing. Moreover it's a fantasy RPG, highly appealing to my inner warrior senses. Argh, I feel like lifting a sword and resuming my knightly duties already.

But I do hope my computer can run it. Last time I remembered my pre-upgraded com couldn't run NWN 1 well enough.

end of geek speak

Anyway, life has been all about studying and planning for post-exams now. Almost everyday is planned and packed, though the ever looming threat of friends-who-always-last-minute-cannot-make-it, bad weather and lack of financial support is ever there.

So wish me luck with my new plans to make full use of my holidays to change a lot of myself. Chief among my concern is to boost my social self and my self-esteem. Of course, that basically means just interacting with people a lot and trying out daring stuff my shy inner self dare not.

But I sure have come a long way from my shy, ugly self to where I am now. Not saying that I'm anywhere near perfect now, but there's lots of improvements. You can wish for a check just by looking at my i/c.

Frankly, it's all about taking life in your hands more and doing something about the things you are grouchy about. Of course, not all problems can be solved just by doing something. Sometimes patience and waiting is required. But most of the time, you are not a social outcast because you are destinied to be one, you are because you have decided to be one.

That's my philosophy for now. I'm gonna be more proactive in life, instead of waiting for things to come my way.

At least this way of living gives me hope that tomorrow is always a better day.

Warm Feelings

2006-10-24T16:56:00.000+08:00

Why do I keep having this insatiable urge to be at the top despite knowing that such people always have bad endings in their fairy tales? It's fast becoming an obsession, and I don't intend to stop it.

That's because that till today, I didn't had the slightest idea that my college was considered one of the last 5 of all JCs in Singapore. Of a total of around 15 JCs, that means we ain't average. We are sadly, below average.

Of course, there's bound to be other views that L1R5 counts for nothing, the law of proportionality doesn't apply etc etc.

Sigh, say anything more and I will be slammed for taking academics as a judge-all. But right now, somehow I'm just placing academics slightly higher in my world-dominating agenda, which is a good thing considering what the next month contains.

Still, there are other important things in life too, say friendships.

I said that because this afternoon, as I was preparing to fall asleep instead of studying again, my mum woke me up to say I had visitors.

Now that is very very rare as I rarely invite anyone to my house nor do I have friends that do house visits lots.

But anyway, I got a super awesome surprise. Sharon, Hui Ying, Ivy, Qiu Kun and Lingxin dropped by to give a little encouragement gift for me.

And from that moment till now, I have been studying at top speed.

You would have no idea how touched (not molested) I felt unless you are in my shoes. Today made me reminisce back to orientation and things that are much more simple yet beautiful than the pursuit of being best in everything.

I'm gonna miss such warm feelings.

Singapore Dreaming

2006-10-21T19:57:00.000+08:00

It is often in dreaming that we derive the greatest improvement in our lives.

That is, if we dare to dream. Some are not even daring to dream, preferring to limit themselves by beliefs that they do not belong to the top.

Then again, some people are just not willing to take on the dreams, for reality is a much harsher place. As such, they might settle for less.

I belong to the dreamer. And call me arrogant, but I call myself full of faith to be able to dream a much better me always.

Dreams are most likely to be a visual one, and I find it quite useful to picture yourself perhaps 1 year later. I would be looking in awe from a third person perspective and yep, that's the person I want to be.

I can't really tell you what I see as my dream. But I hope you have one. If not, try picturing yourself next year. What would you like to see changed? A more confident extrovert? A more stylish, better looking person?

We would be amazed at how much we can do, if only we set aside our limiting beliefs and do it.

And sometimes, as I encounter characters in books, comics, manga, movies and etc, I like some part of them, and thus I somehow come up with a idea on what to become in my few years ahead. Call me psychotic, but I sometimes make some fictional characters my inspirational role model. But I'm well aware it's the image these characters portray that matters, and how I can possibly inherit some of their positive traits.

A bit abstract, but I do that quite often.

And in real life too, I find role models. It's not like I would want to be exactly like them. It's just that I like some part of them and thus am willing to model after their better aspects.

For now, I just want to be myself, because A levels is coming and I shouldn't spend anymore time thinking on this modelling thing.

Work hard, everyone!

Opportunites Yet To Be Discovered

2006-10-20T09:00:00.000+08:00

Must always keep in mind I'm definitely still having lots to learn about everything and anything.

Like the totally different types of people out there I haven't met.

And how I haven't even work before.

How I haven't really obessed myself with a sport.

Or have a proper relationship.

And the infinite list of things I haven't done in life goes on and on.

But one thing I am really sad about, is my family. Why is it so hard for me to take the first step towards really talking to them?

Probably because all 18 years of my life, I have been the same cold person at home, and yet they didn't mind my behavior at all.

Nostalgia

2006-10-17T20:51:00.000+08:00

Dammit, I missed those days.

I was just looking back at my Friendster testimonials.

People I was rather close to once.

Not anymore.

But those days were fun.

Lia
Shi Yun
Sophie
Kenny Shen
Wei Min
Siew Ming
Cui Min
Sin Mun
Serene
Jessica (still quite close lah)
Yawen
Alicia
Samantha
Xian Yao
Edmond
Dylan
Kai Quan (still quite close lah)
Chee Wee
Mark

And millions more... I miss those days man.

I'm Gonna Rule The World!

2006-10-17T09:03:00.000+08:00

This is something to motivate me.

Now nothing stands before me and world domination, erm, except January 26. Found out that Wei Yuan is enlisting on the same day too. Now, what did I say about "there's no coincidence"? Is he destinied to be my... wife? Argh.

Nonetheless, yesterday was awesome. Was led by Wei Liang into shopping Giant supermarket and the amount of cooking ingredients there... Fascinating.

I'm definitely gonna take on cooking once A levels is over.

Intelligent Design?

2006-10-16T13:20:00.000+08:00

Me and my friend were chatting about how unfair the world is turning out to be. On one hand, we may get to read a blog filled with jealous ramblings and on the other, we get to see a person who, with his looks, has attracted a strong, credible (aka quite good-looking) female fan base of in Friendster.

Both are extremes, largely entertaining reads and inspiring motivations.

I'm lucky to say that I've climbed out of the "loser" pit since I came into JC. Thanks to a whole platoon of female friends, I have grown sensitive (maybe too sensitive) to female needs.

Just 2 years ago, I could be blogging just like that jealous person.

But I ain't fabulous or anything, I still hate myself for a lot of stuff, such as having EXTREMELY low self-esteem. I'm working on my shortcomings, but with all my ranting in this blog, it sometimes become more obvious that I've always been a emo person.

Emo person = Depression = Low self-esteem = Self-pitying = Thinks too much = Everyone stays away

Okay. No more of these.

~~Emo person = Depression = Low self-esteem = Self-pitying = Thinks too much = Everyone stays away~~

Time to be:

Confident individual = Zest for life = Happy = Think about constructive things more than self-destruction stuff = Self-motivating = Everyone is attracted

Ah, then the girls would start coming into my life. Success at work and studies. Fast becoming the most talked-about personality in university. A friend everyone wants to have.

Bah. This is my own version of "Singapore Dreaming".

- change topic -

"What if there's no coincidence?" Mel Gibson in Signs

I was pretty disturbed by the movie "Signs" yesterday. I never ever really considered the view that life is completely devoid of coincidence.

Till now. What if it is?

Gasp! Than that pretty girl I meet everyday on the bus! Is she meant to be...

Getting Enlisted Soon

2006-10-15T12:57:00.000+08:00

I got a very big shock yesterday as I was using the computer. Well, simply put, I'm going into the army on 26 January 2007, a much earlier date than I expected.

Crap. Now my plans are disrupted. But nonetheless, I finally got over it after staring blankly at the letter for the whole night.

Felt better finally when I busied myself the whole of this morning with Chemistry work. I began to realise I'm a person who's beginning to hate wasting time, probably sparked by my urge to want to improve and be good in everything.

If I spend one day doing nothing, I will kill myself.

If I spend one day doing unproductive things, I will drown myself.

If I spend one day whining about how much time I'm wasting, I feel like... well that's what I have been feeling all these weeks.

Ain't the feeling of time being wasted just a feeling? I observed that if you do what you need to do (say chores or assignments), you generally don't feel you're wasting time though you may spend the rest of the afternoon rotting away.

Well, to me, not to waste time is:

1. Doing what you need to do for the day, and thus PIORITISE!

2. Don't spend too much time on having fun. Eg. surfing the net aimlessly for 15 mins is okay.

3. Something new must happen everyday. If you keep doing the same thing for 10 days, you will being to feel how time wasting you are.

To be more specific, I feel great when I start mugging and really get a lot of mugging hours under my belt.

On the contrary, I feel terrible when I hardly mug, as shown in the past few days.

And yes, I'm starting to feel that terrible feeling again as I blog this post.

Time to go work again!

A Quick Update

2006-10-14T11:53:00.000+08:00

I had a strange dream today. I dreamt that I lost all my material possessions, and I woke up feeling really glad I had all that I have now.

But as they said, material possessions really count for nothing. Still, to me, they count for everything when they are the only things that keep you in touch with people you love.

Been lost in a tempest of emotions lately. It happens all the time when I'm left to myself. It's very hard for me to focus on studying.

Apparently, whenever I read my notes, my mind's start drifting off every half a page.

Yet, I'm still very happy with myself. Resisted quite a lot of temptations this week. Mostly everything is going according to plan!

Though I haven't officially declared myself as a Christian yet. I'm already starting to have faith in a greater power. And strangely, it works. It's easier to do things when you start praying and relying on faith and promises made by your creator.

I am still full of many doubts though, and my spiritual road will be a long one. I'm also scared that once I stop relying on my own strength, then I no longer can survive on my own.

Hmmm, lots of cheem thinking. Okay, go back to studying now!

Everyone, mug hard!!!

Dull Boring Old Mister Lee Kok Mun

2006-10-12T15:18:00.000+08:00

Describe me in 7 words and you get the title of this post!

Recently, studying stress and others have made me akin to someone 200 years older than my age. Although I still look charming and handsome, I must admit I miss those days when one look from me could make an entire team of girls fall down (I don't know is I look too scary or what lah).

When I try to recall when I was looking happiest, I should say... Orientation! Simply because during that time, I believed it was my duty as an OGL to be happy like a smiley face, so that I would not scare away juniors with my heavy stare.

Later... My OG members commented I still look too serious.

Whatever the case, I'm hoping to get back into that form, starting from today. But it's gonna be real hard since studies make someone go really dull. Just look at me these past few weeks. I look like a grim reaper.

I really need to appear and really be happier. STOP THINKING ABOUT DEEP STUFF, KOK MUN!

Ah... Now that I have start talk to myself, I wonder what's next.

Anyway, I really have to study hard too. Been wasting a lot of time away as I'm too restless to sit still for more than 1 hour at one go.

But tonight, yes tonight, I shall make history by studying... erm... until I grow tired.

My Love-Hate Affair With General Paper

2006-10-11T17:54:00.000+08:00

Okay, today was officially my last General Paper lesson with our class tutor, Ms Bay. As I expected, there wasn't much of a hype since our class has always been such a quiet, reserved group.

Come to think of it, GP has been a wonderful journey for me and at the same time an antagonising thing I still can't get an A for.

But look beyond the grades and "fake" techniques to answering questions and you would see a splendid and wonderful gift everyone is awarded with.

With GP, I learnt to really read. Reading no longer becomes a passive ability, but one that engages the reader. I criticise what I read now and can view the world better as a result of all the exposure to vastly different aspects of life, say politics, war, religion, society etc.

GP taught me how to write essays. Essays are a wonderful thing. I now see it as a tool to develop your ideas since it does include a framework that FORCES you to consider all points of views and come up with interesting examples. And thus it forces us to read the newspapers, which is yet another wonderful thing.

Now I think better, and am confident that GP has contributed much to my growth as a person. It opened my eyes to many many more things, no that the other subjects didn't. But as of today, I am no longer a single island, I have become aware of the crushing diversity and complexity of life and I am no alone.

And most of us JC students keep thinking we live our lives alone when there so many people out there to lend us support, cry with, go through life with and meet. And that's not mentioning the billions of people outside Singapore.

Well, I hated GP too. Just because it was frustrating to figure out figurative language and frightening to know that you have to be widely read to get an A.

But today, I shall just see GP as a good thing that occurred in my life. Fact is, there are many good things that occurred to me during these two years, which I shall tackle one per day till A levels on this blog.

For today, it's all GP. I want to say that GP is not just a subject. It's a skill worth millions if you use it in your life. Most importantly, it has open our hearts, eyes and mind to the world and the many perspectives people may have.

Well, till then, I hope I can get something more than B in my A levels for GP. I doubt so with my quality of writing actually.

Till then, work hard play hard!

Sleeping With Anxiety

2006-10-10T06:32:00.000+08:00

I slept with the anxiety that I'm going to face such an important exam in less than 3 weeks.

In short, I really feel that there's no time left. From today onwards, I shall really study hard. That I promise and made a vow here for everyone to witness.

1. No computer games, anime, movies, reading of books, manga and comics for now. No such introvert addictions.

2. No staying back at school anymore, unless I can find the motivation not to move around and talk to the person next to me.

3. Study 16 hours days hopefully.

4. Postpone as much stuff as I can until after As.

5. Mug. Really mug this time round.

Been burdened with a lot of distractions over the past few weeks. It's perhaps the worst time to be down with such "distractions".

But nonetheless, thanks to Wei Liang for sparking that motor engine in me. Despite me feeling the need to surpass you in A Levels even at the extent of assassination, I will appreciate your friendship and not burn your passport in Hong Kong later this year.

And I'm feeling sinful for gossiping and some more ENJOYING it about this guy we all knew.

Man I shall never be late again. Sorry, Wei Yuan. I shall sue the bus company for trapping me with a lousy bus.

I WANT MORE FRIENDS (I'm a Despo)

2006-10-08T18:09:00.000+08:00

It's a tough choice.

But in my current situation, it's a real dilemma between being manly and cool or being sissy and warm.

The former earn me respect, but no friends.

The latter earn me shame, but lots of friends.

But look closer, I'm already fallen into the sissy and childish side.

I think it's better this way. After all, I'm not going to let fate decide my friends for me.

In fact, I'm not going to let fate decide anything anymore.

Mid-Autumn Festival

2006-10-08T11:50:00.000+08:00

Getting all cosy lighting candles.

Initially we went for Suki Sushi lunch at Lot 1, but I'm once again sad to report that I'M NOT SASTISFIED!!! Frankly, I went in without mental preparation to eat a lot. So end up a bit luggi.

All thanks to my duty-bound behavior, I snap pictures with one hand and tackle a soft shell crab with another.

Frankly, I wonder how many people in the world are like me? Sacrificing our time to be the group photographer. End up I am always never in the picture.

We then proceeded to West Coast. Frankly, I was looking forward to a more exciting trip. But I guess a romantic night was still fun!

But actually I ended up trying to catch the attention of Qiu Kun's dog, much to my disappointment. The dog don't even care about me lah!

The only enjoyable thing was I got tired enough to fall asleep later when I got home. My insomnia is once again gone, replaced with a craving to sleep whenever I open my books.

And somemore I feel I'm going blind soon. My eyesight's pretty blur lately.

And...

I really need to start studying again.

Oh no...

2006-10-05T15:35:00.000+08:00

You know you are in deep trouble when you...

At night, drift in and out of sleep and thus feeling really sleepy at school.

In the afternoon, can barely sleep more than 30mins before jolting awake for unexplainable reasons.

Your dreams are about chemical equations.

Emotionally distracted and drained.

But on a happier note, I'm treating myself by going out tomorrow with my J1 friends! I feel I really need to destress a lot, take away some of my other burdens. It almost felt as if I'm being crushed by everything, yet I feel I'm still not good enough, always wanting to improve some aspects of me.

Am I having a personality disorder?

I need to start seeing a psychologist.

Wait... My brother majored in psychology...

Free service sia.

ROOOOOOOOAR!!!

2006-10-04T15:01:00.000+08:00

Finally, I'm gonna start fighting for myself!

New way of approaching life!

I want something.

Go earn it myself!

No more waiting for life to spoon feed me.

I will start earning my keep!

Intelligence... And A Will To Have That!

2006-10-03T18:48:00.000+08:00

I hereby conclude, God ain't fair at all, at least in the distribution of intelligences.

After reading the likes of RJC and HCI bloggers, I have reason to believe that there is really intelligence out there. Not to say we commoners in JJC ain't smart, I'm just dumbfounded by the sheer disparity in our intelligence.

Besides attaining sky-high grades, I can't help but notice they are good at many other things as well (though not every student is such an overachiever). Yes, I've been having dreams of being an overachiever and actually AM working towards it.

Despite being a long way from the goal, I'm already thinking why bother working so hard? Does it really mean that if I'm at the top, then ONLY then can I achieve satisfaction in life?

Searched a little while in my heart, and I concluded that my aims to achieve everything was sort of a hidden hope that someday when everything is achieved, I would also attain some aspects of life, such as a loved one, a closer family and many friends. Fact is, I may just be deluding myself.

But regardless, I can't stop la. This drive to be good in everything has been quite beneficial. And recently I discovered how childish and insensitive I have become in class, despite looking older nowadays.

So I'm going to work on a few things to improve before A levels end, mainly social aspects. The days ahead, besides studying, I will try to fill up my plan schedule for after As (I'm really assuming my army enlistment is in April) and make plans with current friends to go out.

Some of you may say it's too early. I think I'm just far-sighted. I don't want to waste these 2 years despite being in the army.

A Change of Tone

2006-10-02T14:50:00.000+08:00

Didn't had the mood to study in school today. So I came home early to take a nap, but I still am blogging now.

Eyes closing though. Tired, not physically, but mentally.

Been focusing on the wrong things, trying desperately not to think this and that.

But I'm fine now. I got a lot stronger during the past two weeks. Thought over a lot of things with myself, and I think I manage to get out of my self-induced depression once again.

On a happier note, Rubbish is going overseas!!! rubbish is a group name we have for our secondary all boys clique since we were too lazy to come up with a better name

We will be visiting Lyoe in Hong Kong. I'm really looking forward since I can finally be free of girls and do what guys do when they are together, simply having stupid childish fun!

But oops, I bet there are many Hong Kong babes there too. Sigh, why do I have to be so busy?

Well, jokes aside. Beside the overseas trip, I'm gonna initiate a lot of other things to make my holidays a memorable one, say for example a Christmas party, a 2/4 BBQ, chalets and some other things which I have yet to think about.

I'm going all out to have fun and change my life these holidays!

Today I was anticipating my Economics paper, but end up disappointed again. This Wednesday, he said.

Anyway, our Economics teacher gave us a motivational talk. With all due respect, I came out quite disturbed when he pushed a classmate a little too hard.

I'm a super emotionally sensitive guy, so when girls start crying, I start getting upset. (sound like some super hero ar?)

Other than that, finally got back my Math paper 2. Not too bad, but the worst thing that can happen now is underestimating the A Level Math paper.

But that's precisely what happened today. I just lost all motivation to study. I guess I'm really tired of studying.

Really feel like calling someone to rant off my studying woes. But I can't call my J1 friends, cause they are studying. And I didn't want to call most of my J2 friends. They have enough of a heavy burden already.

Longing for a nice long chat under the stars like so long ago. who says I'm not romantic?

Time to get back to reality. Tomorrow Chemistry paper 2 will be unleashed, and if I somehow someway get to a 50+ marks/60, I can maybe scrape a B.

Don't get my hopes too high up though.

Life Gonna Change

2006-10-01T11:03:00.000+08:00

Once A Levels is over, everything will change.

No more protective environment of a college.

You have to encounter very different people, of different backgrounds.

All the temptations.

The constant need to depend on yourself.

Your character.

Your circle of friends.

As such, today I'm posting a little message to myself, and making it public, so 1 year on, I will still remember the vows I made today.

1) Smoking is a strict no-no. I will not smoke even once for the sake of friendship in NS. I will not smoke for friendship in a club. I will not smoke for anything, since my dad nearly got killed by smoking.

2) Drinking is okay, but never to the point of being drunk. Alcohol shall never be my way of burying my troubles.

3) Sex life, never! I shall resist all temptations. I will fight back like nothing on Earth. Yep, everything's reserved to love. I don't care how accepting society becomes of casual sex. I stand by my values, period.

4) Seek work amidst fun. Never let myself be completely slacking, doing nothing, just wasting my years away. Work towards my dream of success!

5) Always be filial. Household chores, taking care of my parents. Spending more time at home. Little things I'm really trying to do, but I doubt I can change much since I had a distant family life of 18 years. But the bottom line is, I will make my mum and dad proud and take care of them for the rest of my life.

6) Friendship, loyalty. Never betray another friend. Don't talk about a friend behind his back (I need to work on that). Value old friendships.

7) Have hope and be optimistic.

8) Be a good guy but not necessarily a nice guy (further elaboration later on).

9) Don't spend like there's no tomorrow. Have savings. Be willing to turn down outings.

10) Stay healthy.

Anyway, these stuff are largely inspired by none other than Ms Giam, a person in my life that taught me how to stay moral in a world where morals are seemingly diluting.

I realised I have been too nice and shy a person all my life. Being helpful and all is acceptable, but secretly giving up opportunities for others? That was the source of my depression, I guessed.

I kept wanting to please other people and sometimes I am so afraid that they will dislike me that I even avoid them totally, preferring to sit quietly at one corner.

And I always give up these and that to someone else, wallowing in self-pity and causing even more depression.

It's a better life already, I cured my depression by searching out the root! Life has never been brighter! (how many times have I said something like this?)

Well, Mr Nice Guy Lee Kok Mun, it's time to stop being nice to everyone but yourself. It's due time you start being nice to yourself too.

Series of Unfortunate Events!

2006-09-30T14:58:00.000+08:00

200+ pictures just turned into thin air on my phone.

:(

I lost my studying momentum.

I did something I promised never to do again.

And I wasted the whole of yesterday on slacking.

Journey

2006-09-30T10:05:00.000+08:00

Currently reading two books!

Labyrith of Evil:

Really awesome! For Star Wars fans only lah. Gave an insight into how cunning and intelligent the Emperor really was!

The Road Less Traveled (its not "travelled" meh?):

My continuing fantasy with self-help books. But I don't really have time for this one, although it's a really good one.

Just don't like the part that the author went into defining love. For me, I still believe in true, unexplainable love!

Didn't do much for this weekend and judging that I'm using the computer even now, you know that I'm pretty down for studying.

JC students got no life? Agree or not? Just look at other institutions. They take on part-time jobs, have endless outings etc. Pointless to be envious of them, since CCAs and long school hours ruined our 2 years, but I did learn a lot from stressful, life-endangering JC life.

"A levels is turning out to be a beautiful journey"

Some of you may say its psychotic to say that. But just look back on the things you learnt.

Sigh, it's a tiring journey though.

No Mood Again

2006-09-29T16:29:00.000+08:00

I got no mood to study today again. Probably because I started my day with playing games. So introvert.

I miss talking to familiar faces already. The thought of one more month of isolation? I can't believe it.

And I'm still demoralised at how badly I have done at Chemistry.

Sigh.

Failure!!!

2006-09-28T19:12:00.000+08:00

If school keep having a lack of lessons like this week, I'm going to end it early myself. I'm most probably not going to school tomorrow, though I hate studying alone.

No choice la. My Chemistry paper 3 was done so badly I wanted to slam against some wall. At a 48/100, I couldn't believe how far I have fallen in Chemistry. At least I had a good paper 1 of 31/40 to cheer me up.

Sigh. Didn't realise how hard I have to work for the upcoming A levels until today. I thought I mastered Chemistry more or less, but I guess I have to re-read the entire thing one more time.

If I don't go schoool tomorrow, I would most likely be couping up at home for 3 full days, including the holidays. Most likely, I will go crazy. I'm becoming more and more extrovert, due to a few things that happened to me lately. I really need people around me now.

From today onwards, I'm gonna commit myself more to initiating real friendships with people around me.

And to two someones, thanks for inspiring me to do something about my life.

It's Killing ME

2006-09-26T18:04:00.000+08:00

Two days of school and they only gave out 1 paper. I'm dying of anticipation. I want to know my results so badly and start practising on my weaknesses.

Today was really inefficient. I guess I should really, really settle down somewhere comfortable and study, instead of moving here and there today. I wasted too much time on a lot of things. Sigh. Frankly, I'm just forcing myself to stare at books. It ain't effective at all.

Tomorrow I'm going in with a tight plan, and I'M GOING TO FOLLOW IT THIS TIME.

Brave men like me do cry too. When I feel like crying, who's sincerely willing to lend me your shoulders?

Cynical Me

2006-09-20T22:00:00.000+08:00

I totally stand on the side that "people are becoming cynics" after reading Sandralicious.

Why? I think I am becoming a cynic too.

How many times have I believe that after A levels, I would lose contact with my friends? They would drift away and have their own lives, and I would make new friends again?

Haven't I take note that I still keep in contact with many secondary school friends? If I already can't believe a friendship can last beyond the intervention of circumstances, why would it last?

Also, I have lost faith in love. After so many years of being single, repeatedly reading love crimes, divorce issues (and even seeing my own brother's divorce) and breakups of friends around me, I don't believe in true love anymore. I think 99% of the world would marry out of desperation or convienience. The other 1% who fell in love, would eventually end up grouchy couples arguing almost everyday.

What a way to think... What have I become all this year? A cynic in love and friendship? Losing faith in people relationships?

Yet, not all is going downhill. I now have more hope in destiny, equality, democracy, freedom etc than ever. Maybe because I read too many inspiring articles, but it's all for the good.

But the thing closest to my heart, my family, my friends, and someone I can love, they have ironically drifted further.

Not In The Mood

2006-09-20T18:19:00.000+08:00

I'm not in the mood for studying today. I believe I can cope with the twin papers tomorrow with whatever's in my head now.

In short, I gave up struggling for my prelim As.

It's funny when you lose yourself in pursuing all those excelling, academia and life goals, that you actually forget about things that are bigger than you. I'm talking about moments when you feel totally helpless, resigned to fate and believing in someone behind the scenes orchestrating your life.

I'm currently not in one of those moments when my mind is not raging for some life-defining exams and my heart is peaceful, much like the eye of a storm. This moment slows me down, allowing me to think about the many things I have experienced in the past 18 years.

The first thing I would recall are memories of friendships. Next, regrets here and there. Third, my future. Fourth, feelings of my heart.

And everytime, it always ends with me saying, "There's gotta be something I haven't learnt or experienced yet. Life's gotta be more than molecules and atoms."

Though I almost come to no conclusions, I still love this period of self-reflections. Actually slowing down to take a breather amidst my rapid pace of life makes me wonder how little everything else matters, yet one by one they are a crucial element of life.

Sigh, I'm starting to get cheem-er and cheem-er nowadays.

Way I See It

2006-09-19T21:48:00.000+08:00

The way I see it, it's really embrassing to have SO many teenage blogs written either in broken English or sTiCkY cApS.

Not that it's wrong. It's your blog, I don't care if you post naked pictures of yourself on it.

I'm just worried specifically on the trend of VERY whiny, bitchy, hard to read, thousand-of-flashy-graphics, words-small-until-I-cannot-see teenage blogs sprouting out over the past few years. (I am going to get flamed.)

Isn't years enough for us to generate good bloggers around the age of 16-18? It's a rarity from my point of view, or maybe I ain't looking in the right places.

Can't do anything about it. I'm just stating my personal hates. Don't bother flaming me. I just have to uphold my own end of the bargain.

Anyway, end of preliminary exams for many of us (not me though, I still have a paper on Thursday). I still wasted the whole of today by playing games, having lunch at Pizza Hut with friends and reading Naruto manga.

And I feel I need some sleep soon from all the computer facing.

But anyway, I wish to say thanks to everyone who said "jia you" in one way or another. Wished I had spent more time on friendships lately. I just realised the ABSOLUTE importance of not pretending we live alone.

I'm really worried about my Chemistry free-response paper. What in the world was I doing back then giving up? Since when did Lee Kok Mun give up during an exam? Sigh, whenever I feel inconfident, it seems.

But I learnt an important lesson, Chemistry is no chicken feed. It's time I face my fear of memorisation and TYS questions.

Steamboat!

2006-09-17T09:42:00.000+08:00

Call me crazy, but I went for a really really enjoyable steamboat with my friends. Even made fall in love with cooking. Ah, the satisfaction you see on faces when you cook up something really nice.

I think I got a hidden love in cooking. I'm definitely gonna learn how to cook properly after As.

Anyway, to Hui Ying, Qiu Kun, Sharon, Ivy and Lingxin, thanks for showing up and here's the pictures!

My Opinion of Life

2006-09-14T15:09:00.000+08:00

I have a little time to blog some today, and it's gonna get cheem, so if you are up for some serious writings, time to switch off. :)

The whole week of exams was going well until this morning. The Chemistry paper was hard for me because I didn't practise enough. But since I know what's wrong and what needs improving, I'm not too sad! I just to put in tons more effort right?

Too many people have a misconception about life, in my opinion. Everyone focuses on the future, be it going to university, getting married, falling in love or buying a car.

But I realised recently it's not about focusing on the future.

Let's take studying for example. Always think what you studying has no application in life? Always though memorising chemical diagrams and math equations will help you in nothing?

Ya, true, it wouldn't get you anything. But the process of studying does give you a lot of lessons.
For example, I learnt that there is no such thing such as a genius, though they can exist, but rare. Hard work is a necessity of life. Hard work is not to be really feared and the satisfaction of one whole day of non-stop studying is really better than slacking off and knowing you achieved nothing.

Then there's also the matter of procrastination, self discipline, appreciating the complexity of life, our origins... etc etc. All this were taught through studying, not to mention my cultivated love of knowledge and appreciation of time.

So you see? Life is really in the process. A Level is an end, but what's important is what you feel, do and think now!

Why grouch about getting out of a horrible college when similar horrible things happen everywhere? The answer is to appreciate the moments, and be less focused on the dreams of tomorrow!

Wah. Talk all this like self-help book liddat.

Another thing I learnt throughout my life. Liking someone is full of uncertainty. You don't know whether she likes you or whether you are meant for true love with her or whether things work out. But once again, focusing and worrying about the unpredictability of life is rather pointless.

Enjoy what time you have with those you love. Each day is a life in itself, meant to be celebrated and enjoyed. Sure sad and frustrating things do happen everyday, like getting over-scolded for not cutting your hair short, but all this is part of life. You have the privilege to experience it, bad things can be part of the learning process too!

Emphasise again, life is in the moments. Remember that. Tell yourself that. If you got something to enjoy, like an outing, simply go let your hair down and enjoy the company of your friends. If you are doing a tedious study assignment, "enjoy" it in the sense that you know hard work and perseverence bring you much MORE than good results.

Wow. What a inspiring post ya? Argh, nevermind. Now I need to enjoy some sleep.

Eve of The Last Prelims In My Life

2006-09-10T09:46:00.000+08:00

You would probably call me crazy to come online to blog on the eve of such an important exam. It would probably be the last prelims I ever have, and I plan to make it the best one with the limited time I have.

I just came online to blog seriously. Just want to rant my mind off.

As I study and study yesterday night, I realise without doubt, I simply wasn't putting enough hard work. I kept measuring whether I was doing enough hard work by comparing my efficiency to the person next to me. That's why I manage to study at school, but when I get home, there's no one and I totally slacken.

That's also why I always felt better whenever I hear someone say, "Hey. I didn't study much today. Wasted my entire day". Actually I began to realise I wasn't hearing someone else say that, I was hearing my laziness moan about that.

Hard work. Hard work. I was unconciously avoiding it all this while. I thought what I was doing is enough. But I was wrong. Hard work is not something you dread and put in to achieve something, it is a process I should learn to accept and realise that in the process, hard work builds character, success and brings along everything you want in your life.

Although I realise this concept of hard work a little too late for prelims, I guess I still have time for A Levels though. The next few days... I shall simply take it as revision practice.

Are you a person who always imagined yourself as making it big? And whenever you read interviews of famous, successful people, do you imagine yourself as being interviewed one day too?

I do.

Fame, riches, success... That's my secondary purpose for now. Because if I get them, I envision myself as a greater person, someone who deserve respect and inspire those who are born into the ordinary to pursue their purpose their life, be it a simple life or a life of foolish grandeur like mine.

But the stories always ring in my head, telling me one day, somewhere down the road, I'm gonna realise fame, riches, success ain't everything. Perhaps I would settle for more time with my family, or be a social worker, or go into politics?

That is why my primary purpose is to find, create and share love, seek the answer to life, make the world a better place with my hands and die someone content with how I spent my life.

Inefficient Day

2006-09-08T18:17:00.000+08:00

Today's been a pretty inefficient day in terms of mugging. Only went through two sets of notes so far, and slept a darn lot!

Insecurities aside, I think I'm falling in love with soft rock music!

The attitude, the drums, the lead singer... I'm really thankful for the presence of my loyal iPod.

On long rides home...

When the person studying next you talks louder than a loudhailer blaring warning sirens...

When I'm doing boring Math questions I'm sure I did somewhere before...

When I DON'T want to listen to some person blabbling about his/her life...

Hey, I should be studying!

2006-09-08T13:27:00.000+08:00

As we struggle towards our tortorous exams, I keep imagining what I would do after As.

For once, I shall make full use of my holidays. And then again, the danger of rotting at home is very real and that is why, at the very basis, I shall find a job!

And do volunteer work too, since I'm such an idealist.

Go clubbing for the first time in my life!

Learn new skills, like cooking.

Try out new sports.

Acquire new hobbies.

Stay in contact with current friends even through NS.

Attend my chalets.

And so many many more things.

But I'm a little afraid actually. Once we step out of junior college, do you realise we are actually very much independent already? There wouldn't be much consistency left in our life, and the lack of really caring teachers would suddenly seemed so defeaning.

Who's to say your circle of friends would remain the same? Who's to say you would even get a job? Who's to say you will find true love?

Sometimes I don't feel like growing up, I want to be stuck in this time and moment, forever enjoying the protection bestowed by predictability and education.

Sigh.

I HATE EXAMS

2006-09-02T18:51:00.000+08:00

Ya ya, teacher, I got it. Exams got its benefits. They challenge you to your limits, develop analytical skills... blah blah blah.

But face it, I'm envious of people partying, celebrating and have a jolly good time at the beach.

There's so many things I want to do after As. And the list just get longer and longer as the studying drags on and on.

Moreover, that's only a list of thing I bother updating about. There's a million other things I want to and could do in the Decembers, like buying a Makansutra guide to eat the best food in Singapore, buy a game console, complete my thousands of RPGs, participate actively in chat forums, go hunt for second hand bookstores, attend church for the first time....

With so many things to do and so many ideas of things to do I could conjure up in a split second, why is it that I would probably feel bored in the holidays?

1. I'm too damn lazy to get my butt out of the house.

2. I'm shy and scared to try something new that will probably get me embarrassed.

3. I just don't feel in the mood.

But really lar, it's best to be busy than bored. So my number goal for post-A Levels is to:

Be occupied, try out new things and enrich my life with activities and not regret because I felt moody and thus waste precious hours of my life.

By the way, I need to get a printer, seriously, to print so many stuff I have on the com.

The Healing

2006-09-02T17:42:00.000+08:00

Enough, enough talk about how lousy other people treat me.

From today onwards, I'm going extrovert. No more nice guy. No more hesitant mindset. I do what I need to do and believe in.

And for now, I believe I need to spend more time on my studies.

Destiny

2006-09-01T16:17:00.000+08:00

I wonder how much of life is there for me to know? Is there a Creator? Is life more than atoms and molecules, coincidence and random occurences? Is karma real? Is palm reading phoney? What is spiritual mediation? How exactly to you speak to a God? What happens after death?

These are the typical questions that have been argued for centuries and I only prayed that SOMETHING do exist beyong mere routines and a foolish attempt at glorifying life.

Sigh.

I feel really under-appreciated nowadays. And no matter how nice I treat others, it always seems that I'm short-changed. I told myself umpteen times that, ya, it's bad to expect anything in return.

But why is it that I'm SO short-changed? What's wrong with me? I don't see anything wrong.

Or can someone tell me that I'm too ugly, too talkative or too evil to live with?

I can't put on a smile everyday when I keep loving but hardly get any love in return. I can't stay happy when love is one-sided. I can't stay positive when I just can't bring myself to find someone who understands and loves me.

That's why Mr Adam Kwa said, my current goal was to find a soul mate. And for your information, I got a palm reading from him yesterday. He was once my teacher at Commonwealth, a highly spiritual man who seems rather interesting.

He told me quite a number of bad news. And revealed some past of mine that seemed pretty accurate. A friend of mine even broke down after listening to him accurately depict what she was feeling inside.

His advice, be careful about friendship. There's some friends worth dying for, but some will run off when you are in dire straits.

Maybe it's all the stress. But I really really really wish to find a friend, a soul mate, a companion even, to talk to. I'm feeling damn lonely this whole year actually, cause everyone seems to be avoiding the real me, preferring my surface self.

Am I being over-pessimistic?

I remember those nights of chatting with a friend about everything and anything.

How come those things don't happen anymore?

2006-08-29T06:25:00.000+08:00

Thanks everyone for tagging me despite my blog hiatus!

It's been a trying month for me as I try to juggle work and a whole lot of other issues. But yep, I'm still alive and this blog ain't dead. But you might want to reserve your blog visits till November, in which I will come up with my very own blog skin and more quality posts!

For now, here's replying everyone on the tagboard:

To Yun Ru: Long time no see! How are you now? Still troubled by boy problems?

To Hui Ying: As usual, thanks!

To Patsy: Oops too late. By the time you ask me, it's already over.

To Mark: Damn! I'm sure there's a better collection there! I didn't manage to buy a book that I like at Expo.

To Kah Fong: It's very funny to see the teachers do yoga!

To Wei Yuan: Then bring a chair and sit?

To Sophie: Haha. What's so amazing? We just curious mah.

Hiatus Declaration

2006-08-14T19:18:00.000+08:00

Indefinite Blog Hiatus due to Exams.

Wish me good results!

It's The Sale!

2006-08-12T08:23:00.000+08:00

Books as cheap as $1. How could I resist? Hooray to the bookworm in me!

I'm heading down there now. Singapore Expo. It's a long journey. Sigh.

Will be back with my treasures!

Are They Exercising? I Think So...

2006-08-11T15:12:00.000+08:00

JJ had our much awaited mass yoga display today immediately after morning assembly.

(our school have been having plans for a record setting biggest yoga display for months)

And it was a glorious sight, simply because if you looked from high above, you get to see the WHOLE of JJ running track and field occupied by students. And when they start doing foreign poses you have never seen your entire life, you get worried about the stress levels of JJCians.

But frankly lah, the mass display is a refreshing and fun experience. I have changed my skepticism towards pulling the record off, cause I really think we can do it. After all, it's just a few actions, I'm sure everyone will contribute right?

Right. Definitely right when you see teachers in dresses trying to bend left and right. I was really worried there might be a wardrobe malfunction.

But of course, some people felt uncomfortable doing a exercise that was originated from Hinduism and thankfully, the school decided to let them off. Whew.

You see, previously, our principal was downright insisting that yoga was a secular activity and everything. The saga was a sensitive one, by my opinion and thankfully it was resolved today.

Sometimes it really takes a just little effort to get everyone to compromise and change their point of views, and then the day can go on smoother, just the ongoing conflict in Israel.

Of course, I know things ain't so simple as simply stopping the war and pulling the troops out. But people are dying as we speak. I can only pray for things to settle down soon. Please don't make it any worse.

Back to yoga. I wished I could have taken a picture of 1000+ people performing it but as you can see, I'm a participant. So no pictures for you all.

And about the initial reluctance and whining I had about this record breaking? I think I have a change of mind.

What's the harm in doing something fun and memorable for a while?

And I feel happy being part of a major effort.

Lists Craze

2006-08-10T19:33:00.000+08:00

Thanks to my lists craze, I have a new motivator for my studying.

Simple.

A revison check list of topics and a list of what full papers I have done.

Give me a sense of achievement just by looking at it. That's why it motivates me.